Do we love and honor women, and seek their healing, as Jesus did?

When we reach out to people who are entirely different from ourselves, our churches grow and we fulfill the meaning of the verses in Acts 17. | by Dr. Alveda C. King

Christian women have a tremendous opportunity as well as a tremendous responsibility to get our lives on target with loving and serving God and our families and communities. In order to be effective in this important assignment, we must first be whole in our spirits, souls and, when at all possible, in our bodies. This process of being healed and then helping others to be healed is ongoing. As we seek God’s kingdom first, all these things are added to us.

One issue that is facing Christian women today is how to be effective in our giftings and callings without taking on the ways of the women of the world. For instance, everywhere we look, we see a strong and worldly “women’s movement,” which looks good on the surface. Yet, if we look deeper, the message can be contrary to God’s Word. For instance, wearing a t-shirt that has the message “women rock” on the front seems nice until you hear the women wearing such shirts bashing men and some even turning away from natural relationships with men to have romantic encounters with other women.

There is reason for the worldly women’s movement. For decades and in some cases for centuries, women have been overlooked for opportunities to get ahead in the job markets and in other areas of power in the world. It’s understandable that women would want to fight for equality. However, if our efforts to become successful cause us to abandon God’s way and God’s Word in the matter, we should think again on how to be God’s women in today’s world.

One of the best examples of victorious womanhood is the Proverbs 31 woman. She was a successful homemaker, a successful businesswoman, and a successful wife and mother all at the same time. Hopefully she found some “me time” as well. Time with family and friends is important.

The same pattern is available to unmarried women. It’s all about living a godly life. Even the unmarried single mother can be victorious in her endeavors if she puts God first.

Marriage and motherhood don’t have to prevent women from becoming successful and living lives that include personal victories. It is the order of priorities that makes the difference. For the married woman, her relationship with God comes first, followed by her relationship with her husband, and then children if she has them. Then come work and church activities, to be balanced. Somehow, by working very hard, she can find some “me time” to round out her life.

The single mother should work very hard to live a godly example before her children. In other words, if she isn’t married, there should not be a man living in the home or men coming and going in the home. Then church, work, family and friends, and “me time” round out her picture. This is a hard saying; but with God all things are possible.

I’m not writing as a bystander. I’ve been in the trenches as a mother of one miscarried child and two aborted children. Also, I’ve been a married woman raising young children. Today, my six living children are professional adults and parents of my grandchildren. So I won’t lie to you and say that life is always simple and easy. It’s not.

The single woman without a husband or children should have it easier to prioritize her time. God first, family second, and church and work rounding out her life, with “me time” definitely included.

One word of advice is worth considering. Every woman is beautiful in God’s eyes because every woman is created in the image and likeness of God. We know that many women enjoy spending time and money on clothes, makeup, beauty treatments and the like. There’s nothing wrong with that. An old-time preacher once said, “There’s nothing wrong with putting a little paint on the barn.” That’s certainly a good way to look at it.

However, when the fancy hairdos, makeup, long nails, eye lashes, designer clothes and weight become such a priority that they compete with our time and finances, we need to take another look.  We might ask ourselves: “Am I doing all of this for me? Does it make me feel better? Or, am I doing this so other people will like me and notice me?”

Sometimes we work so hard to stand up to the world’s standards of beauty that we forget what God says about all of this:

“Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel—rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.” 1 Peter 3:3-4

At the end of the day, that old song lyric, “Beauty is only skin deep, but ugliness is to the bone,” is something to think about.

Three men in the news recently—Kanye West, Tyler Perry and Kirk Franklin—spoke out about issues that affect women.  One hot topic for them is abortion. Kanye and Kirk are married and both men feel that women have rights. However, they also believe that all human life is sacred to God.

Tyler Perry seems to agree. When challenged by Hollywood’s women’s rights advocates to shut down his studios to support protests about Georgia’s new anti-abortion laws, he basically said that while he supports women’s rights, he doesn’t agree that closing his studios in protest is the answer.

On another note, Kanye West has a new album, JESUS IS KING. He also is speaking out about his wife Kim’s sexy dressing.

“. . . I went through this transition from being a rapper, looking at all these girls, and then looking at my wife like, ‘Oh, my girl needs to be just like these girls, showing her body off, showing this, showing that'” Kanye said in an interview. “I didn’t realize that that was affecting my soul and my spirit as someone that’s married and loved, the father of what’s to be four kids.”* Kanye has also asked people who are working on his album to not engage in premarital sex.

Now, here’s the question. Who will be a Queen Vashti or Queen Esther? Vashti wasn’t wrong when she refused to go to her husband the king and his drunken friends. They were demanding a fashion show if not a pole dance. Vashti was within her rights to refuse to be humiliated, but she didn’t consider how her reaction would affect her husband. She overestimated her beauty. On the other hand, once Esther became queen, she took a different route. She didn’t depend on her beauty to get her what she wanted from her husband. She depended on God. Queen Esther fasted and prayed and won healing and deliverance for her whole nation.

Sarah at first tried to help God by sending her maid Hagar to her husband Abraham’s bed. Then Sarah became jealous and angry with Hagar for obeying her orders. Sarah had mixed up emotions which made life miserable for everyone. As a result, the problem between the children of Ishmael and Isaac remain today.

Bathsheba was bored and lonely and put her bathtub on the roof.  She knew King David was at home and could see her patio. She wasn’t thinking straight. So, when King David summoned her, she found herself in his bed and pregnant. She ended up with a dead husband and a dead baby. High price to pay to become a queen.

That’s the point of it all. Having things our way can only lead to disaster.  Healing comes when we trust God. As women, will we trust our emotions or will we trust God?

Today, as women, we have a choice. Will we fast and pray to God for answers? Will we plead the blood of Jesus? Will we rely on the Holy Spirit?  When we trust God as Queen Esther did, healing follows. God is good and His blessings are abundant in our lives.

May God heal and deliver women in the days ahead.

*Brittany Raymer, Kanye West’s Gospel album Includes an Ode to Chick-fil-A’s Lemonade and a distinctly Christian Message,” The Daily Citizen from Focus on the Family, October 25, 2019, accessed November 15, 2019,

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